Thursday, January 28, 2016







Wearing //
Vince Camuto pumps, similar





Body image is a topic I've touched upon in previous posts. It's a natural point of contention when you've been putting yourself out there on a style and beauty blog for over seven years. After reading Alissa's Instagram post on Monday, I clicked over to her blog and it really struck a chord with me so I wanted to bring it up here. I can't take away from her extremely beautiful and thought provoking words, I won't even try. I suggest going to hers immediately (after reading mine of course) but it resonates with me so greatly because since starting my blog, a lot has changed - my weight, the size of my waist, hell the size of everything. I've tried to conceal it by solely posting flattering photos of myself, a trick that I think we all use, style blogger or not. My non-blogging friends do it too. "Don't you dare post that on social media, I look hideous!" or "if you post it just filter it so I look good". Let's face it. We live in a frenzy of staged Instagram photos. complete with filters that quickly hide "flaws" with the tap of your finger. We're so used to this false sense of reality that even I forget what people really look like, at least the ones I haven't seen in years. We've not only become comfortable with this phony sense of self, but I think almost blind to how it really impacts our self-esteem in a negative way. 

I don't want to get preachy here. It's my choice to put myself out there on the internet. Here is the comment I left on Alissa's blog because it sums up my feelings perfectly: Couldn't love this piece or agree any more! I think we all spend far too much time beating ourselves up. Not even on each other, but on ourselves! I've gained almost 20 pounds in two years since getting married. That's a huge what the fuck for me. Excuse the language but that's the only term I feel suits my frustration. I'm slowly getting back down, and I'm starting to make better eating and work-out choices. I'll never be the skinny girl. I'm petite, but I've got curves too, and I don't mind that one bit. We should all take your advice and just stand in the bodies we have now. Not yesterday, not a year from now but now. 

It's not just my weight that bothers me. Everything seems to these days, From my hair to my brows, and definitely to the simple fact that I've had to donate a ton of clothes, and not because of moving. No, the real reason was that they were tight, ill-fitting, and trying to wiggle myself into old size 4 jeans and blazers made me feel like a stuffed sausage. It takes guts to stand in the mirror and decide that you've had enough, and that a change is needed. I'm doing that by getting healthier for myself. But I also really love the idea of just being comfortable with where you are in life. I look at other bloggers and constantly wonder why they aren't just professional models. I thought blogging was a way to give a middle finger to the fashion heads and let them know that we can do our own thing and wear clothes beautifully without the need for photoshop or starving ourselves. I guess it worked, but I feel like it's all swung in the opposite direction. Who's fault that is, I don't know nor do I really care. But while I'm on the internet, I have to keep reminding myself what drew me to do this in the first place. I can and will be kinder to myself. I can and will shed some weight, but don't expect me to get crazy into it because when it comes down to it, I love enjoying life and that includes food. These are just my feelings, and my only hope for being honest about my body image struggle is to let you know why I don't post as often as I used to. It's not just about time constraints because we are all busy! It mainly has to do with just not feeling up to editing 30 photos, and throwing all but maybe two or three "good ones" in the recycling bin. 

 I promise I'm not looking for compliments or validation, just genuine feedback on the subject if you have any! I'd love to hear your experiences, especially as it pertains to blogging. 



19 comments:

  1. Early on in blogging I realized I wasn't going to be able to go full-time (which is NEVER something I've wanted) because I am not that model that is wearing clothes. I am the perfectly average body. No one really wants to aspire to have the average body but yet we all wear clothes so why don't we want to see what to wear on a normal body? It's so ridiculous and confusing. It really f**ks with you to see yourself at your thinnest and heaviest and realize strangers can easily do a side-by-side.

    I'm getting betting, working on my health but I'm not beating myself up for where I am today. And no one should, because honestly? Today is kind of all we have and sometimes not even that is guaranteed.

    The Adored Life

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    1. I have never wanted to go full time either. I think it would take the fun aspect away from it. I think so much has changed since I first began, and I feel a little outdated at times! But thank you so much for your post! My husband read it and loved your writing ( we are both book worms ) and so I'm glad that there are people in this community that have struggled with weight gain as well.

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  2. When I moved to the US in the first 3 months I put on 30 pounds, I saw a pic once of myself and was mortified. It took me a looooong time to learn to love myself just the way I am and to learn to take care of myself not solely for appearances but for my health. I will probably never have the ideal body, but I think that learning to accept and love yourself just the way you are right now is the best work you'll ever do. AND only then I think it's possible to make healthy changes.

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    1. I agree! Self love is so important, but it's easier said than done. Your confidence really inspires me Rachelle and I'm grateful for our friendship :)

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  3. I want to say that I truly love your outfit here - it's beautifully chic and classic. :) Clearly that is the side note and I feel frivolous mentioning it, but I needed to say it. Second, I don't know if you remember an interview I did with you awhile back (looks like it was August 2014 but I always remember one of your lines from that, "Do it because you love it." It's the truth. I find I'm happiest when I tune out the noise of "Bloggers Must Be X Way" and just focus on sharing and doing what I enjoy. e.g. I don't like photography, I don't like posing for pictures, those things are part and parcel to a fashion blog but I just go ahead and blog anyway. You wouldn't have lasted this long as a blogger if a part of you didn't love parts of it, and you wouldn't have the blogging friends and community that you do if people didn't love you back. And we like you for YOU, not your weight, size, hair, brows, etc. There's no other Noelle and I hope that you'll just keep sharing what you love (nothing wrong with deleting pics that don't make you happy!) so we can enjoy it with you and connect with you!

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    1. Yes, re-reading this and I'm teary eyed again! I'm so emotional this week! Must be that womanly time ;)
      I'm so grateful for our friendship, as I just replied to Rachelle above. You are such a genuine person and I wish more bloggers were like you. Thank you so much for always being so generous and kind.

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  4. Props to being honest!people r so into their image and such unrealistic things and not paying attention to what makes them special from the inside, the great talents god has given us. And yes why beat ourselves up over nonsence crap?? We all need to love ourselves more, very good read noelle xoxo!!!

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    1. Thank you! I strive to be as honest as I possibly can be on my blog, without getting too personal. I have never wanted this to be a negative space, but it's not real to just put out there all the pretty things. I wake up feeling low sometimes, I struggle with the same things other women do and it's nice to be honest about that! Thank you for reading :)

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  5. I read Alissa's post earlier this week and loved it. You ladies are spot on. I do think social media makes people feel bad about themselves, not just bloggers. I love that you keep it real!

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    1. Thank you Tara! Your support over the years has been greatly appreciated! Alissa is one of a kind, so I'm just happy that you enjoyed my experience as well :)

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  6. i admit i feel pressure to look a certain way because of what i see on blogs. i rarely do outfit posts because of it.

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    1. You should! I love your outfits Elle! See, that's why I wanted to address this. Why can't style be for everyone? Just because we aren't a size 2 doesn't mean we can't look and feel beautiful in our skin. I hope you'll consider doing more!

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  7. I always say dress for the body you have not the one you want to have. I think you dress yours beautifully, and I like that you're not another tall skinny blogger.

    Don't worry about the weight gain too much. I also gained a lot of weight when I got married (went from size 4 to size 10). Also out on a bunch after I had Sofia and breastfeeding. Your body changes through your life, what's important is to take care of it, accept it and put most of the focus on inner beauty.

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    1. Thank you :) dressing for your body is important in terms of looking your best, but I also think people should wear whatever makes them happy, even if it's not the most flattering.

      And you look great! You've done a lot of hard work in exercising. It shows, and I'm glad you focus on inner beauty (because that never fades).

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  8. I meant to comment on this when I first read it - this is such an important discussion to have - and I'm so glad that it's out there instead of being glossed over. I also get feelings of inadequacy in many respects with blogging - it's hard enough for me to post 1 outfit pic let alone the multiple magazine-type pics that other bloggers post. And I sometimes feel like I was more free and open in my earlier days of blogging - now everything takes a bit longer because I want my photos to be "just right". But on the flip side, i still love the blogging world as I feel like there is more representation than traditional media...even in this day and age, its sad that the only people put forth by brands and media are of a certain age and look...I feel like bloggers can say - you don't celebrate me, but I can celebrate myself...and as they get more attention - media and brands have to come about and acknowledge them too - so it does have good results. Sorry for the ramble ;-)

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  9. Great post! I am still a work in progress. When I was younger I had very low self esteem and it took a lot of work to get to the point where I could look in the mirror and not hate the person staring back at me. Do I have things I'd still love to change about myself, hell yeah but I've also reached a place where I can truly say that I love those things that make me uniquely me. Now I think I'm in the mirror too much these days, amazed at the image in front of me and telling her how freaking hot she is LOL. Social media can definitely do a number on one's ego, but it's also so wonderful seeing so many real women, with real bodies and personalities and querks all gorgeous in our own way. Thanks so much for sharing and know that you are certainly not alone! :)

    www.dressed2dnines.com

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  10. Body image is so tough! After being made fun of in middle school for being overweight, gaining quite a bit in college, and now being in a healthier place, it's something I think I will always struggle with. I loved Alissa's post too. I think it's important as women to love the bodies we have and build each other up. Blogging shouldn't be about this idea of perfection we've dreamed up.

    Amy Ann
    Straight A Style

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  11. Absolutely!! I've struggled with it all my life! But, no more!! I just turned 30 and I'm done beating myself up. I'm going to continue to make healthy choices and go to the gym on the regular, but that scale is going in the trash. And I'm wearing a crop top this summer with a high waisted skirt come hell or high water!

    www.kaitweight.blogspot.com

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Thank you for commenting! I read each and every one, and do my best to answer questions or return the favor on your blog. Interaction is my favorite part <3